


The chaos of Schweiden Adlers

by Mir_Hope20



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, M/M, Multi, someone to take pity on my poor soul in disgrace and make more adlres material please
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:35:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29725638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mir_Hope20/pseuds/Mir_Hope20
Summary: To the general public, the Schweiden Adlers players looked like professional and mature people, but only the team members and their fans knew the reality.Welcome to the chaos, sit back and enjoy mindless conversations and weird scenarios from our adlres boys!(There is no relationship tag because I'm still not sure to add one, maybe I just left my guys being one night stands? idk)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 53





	The chaos of Schweiden Adlers

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly got tired of waiting for adlres content, so I decided I would do it myself! It's honestly pretty daunting to see a lot of MBSY content (I love them) but none of our guys.  
> So, this story will have chats, scenarios and many things, I'm not sure about adding a fixed shipp but our guys are popular ;)

_Hoshiumi has changed the name of the group to "Height does not affect size"_

_Hoshiumi is online._

_Romero is online._

_Hirugami is online._

_Toshiro is online._

_Sokolov is online._

_Hoshiumi has sent a picture._

__

_Hoshiumi has sent a link https://codingzoom.cc/test/test-podemos-adivinar-cuanto-te-mide/_

**Hoshiumi** : I'm telling you, the height of a person does not affect the size of his cock, this thing is useless lol

**Romero** : No? According to that, mine would be big and he's right.

**Hoshiumi** : according to you, have you seen another man's erect dick?

**Romero** : what? no? What does that have to do with anything?

**Hirugami** : has a point, how do you know yours is great if you haven't seen someone else's?

**Romero** : according to statistics, size is proportional to height, isn't it?

**Toshiro** : that's like saying that Asians have a small dick.

**Hoshiumi** : Exactly! You can't say that because of your height something is going to be smaller or not.

**Sokolov** : So how big is your dick, Romero?

**Romero** : Idk, I have not measured it :P

_Ushijima is online_

_Kageyama is online_

**Ushijima** : We came back from running, what are you talking about?

**Hoshiumi** : dicks.

**Hirugami** : size of dicks.

**Toshiro** : the dick of romero.

**Sokolov** : the size of Romero dick.

**Romero** : it's the first time that a group of men talk about my dick.

**Kageyama** : Although people always talk about it on Twitter.

**Hoshiumi** : oh yeah, they talk about their fantasies with us JDDNKJ

**Sokolov** : "Hoshiumi exists and I am ready to get on my knees to pray"

**Hirugami** : "Kageyama could step on me and I would say thank you"

**Toshiro** : "Ushijima's shot shouldn't be the only thing that is powerful"

**Romero** : our youngest ones are popular, awww.

**Kageyama** : You too, most call you "daddy"

**Hoshiumi** : KDJKDKD IS TRUE.

**Hoshiumi** : daddy issues are a serious thing.

**Ushijima** : 23cm

**Kageyama:**?

**Sokolov:**?

**Romero:** ?

**Hirugami:** ?

**Hoshiumi:**?

**Toshiro** : oh, did you take the test that hoshiumi sent?

**Ushijima** : yes, although I don't know if it actually measures that

**Kageyama** : let's measure everyone's, then.

_Kageyama is offline._  
_Hoshiumi is offline._

Leaving his room, Korai calmly made his way to the living room where he practically lunged at his jet-black teammate, who just stood still trying not to spill his glass of milk.

"Kageyama, you can't just drop something like that and just walk away!" Hoshiumi complained as he clung to the opponent's body, who spread his arms in a T to allow him to settle.

"Why not? If you want to know if it's big or not, just check it out" Tobio replied automatically as he took a sip of his drink.

Before anyone could say anything, a third voice interrupted them, both of them turned gently at the sound of footsteps approaching in their direction meeting the gaze of the blocked blonde.

"Well, it's not a bad idea but you're still quite young" Sokolov mentioned before pushing the albino away from the opposite. "Don't hang like that Korai, you're going to end up hurting Tobio"

"It's small, it doesn't weigh much" Tobio mentioned before seeing how his glass was snatched away by the aforementioned, who drank the contents without shame.

"So I don't think you need this, sir. I'm taller than 1,80cm" Korai teased hearing Sokolov's laugh behind him.

Gently entering the room, the other missing team members began preparing their various assignments, each moving as a team and in different parts of the apartment in which they were living together.

Romero and Toshiro were in the kitchen, starting to see what they would need to cook lunch, Ushijima and Hirugami were each with a basket of dirty clothes.

"They do radiate energy today" Hirugami mentioned as he accommodated the basket in his arms.

"Youth is incredible," Romero mentioned before starting to wash the vegetables he had selected. "Today's menu is vegetable soup"

Looking towards the older man, they all nodded in his direction. It's not like the Brazilian player is an excellent cook but he seemed very interested in cooking lately, so after a few rounds of rock, paper or scissors. It was decided that Toshiro would be the one to watch over the taller man.

"It's actually miso soup" Toshiro chuckled softly as he started to chop up said vegetables.

Leaving the pair to go about their business, the other members looked at each other. Ushijima and Hirugami were in charge of the laundry.

"Lavender or chamomile?" Ushijima asked as he displayed the fabric softeners.

"I personally recommend lavender, its aroma is much milder" Hirugami mentioned as he looked at the trio in front of him.

Meditating on them, the three of them instantly gave their answer. "Lavender" "lavender would be nice" "chamomile".

"Lavender won, sorry Tobio" Hirugami laughed softly when he saw the pout on the other's lips.

The laundry pair left the room, carefully picking up a pair of sweatshirts that were on the rack at the entrance before starting to enter each of the rooms in search of dirty clothes, both chatting quietly, leaving the remaining three looking at each other. among them.

"Well, we have things to do too" Sokolov broke the silence as he lightly patted the couple in front of him on the head. "See you in an hour to set the table, okay?"

Both players nodded their heads at the blonde's words, each separating into different areas of their department. They were in charge of cleaning, they used to divide themselves into different sectors to be able to make sure that everything was kept in good condition to avoid some kind of illness or accident.

After an hour where the team performed basic household chores, with the cleaning team setting the table next to the washing team. It only remained for the kitchen team to bring lunch, who made an appearance with a proud smile on their faces.

"Bom proveito" "Priyatnogo appetita" "Itadakimasu"

After a collective thank you, they began to enjoy their food quietly, everyone taking their time to enjoy the taste of the food giving compliments to the elders, finally it was the shortest of all who returned to bring up the topic of conversation.

"I'm telling you, the height has nothing to do with the size of your dick, I slept with many people and they all said that my dick is not small" Hoshiumi complained while taking his drink, only to receive a funny look from his captain.

"Who told you that?" He asked mockingly, not that Hirugami doubted the veracity of the shorter man's words but it was something difficult to imagine.

"Your brother" he uttered with a hoshiumi smile, which was matched in the same way on the contrary.

Both players stared at each other ignoring the laughter of the others, both Toshiro and Romero laughed in a considerably high voice volume compared to the soft laughter emitted by Ushijima, Sokolov and Kageyama, who maintained a soft expression on their faces accompanied by a not so outrageous laugh. After a few seconds, they both gave up their visual battle to join in the laughter of their teammates.

"Seriously, are you going to be like this because of what an internet test says? Half of those things on the internet are not true" Sokolov complained as he took his glass of water, smiling when he saw the indignant look of the mentioned.

"It's true, one day I looked for what could cause a strong blow to the head and said that I could have a concussion" Kageyama mentioned while taking his second plate of miso, courtesy of Romero.

"Really?" Toshiro asked slightly amused, seeing how the jet nodded to his question.

"Oh god, so what do you suggest?" Asked Hirugami as he set his silverware aside on his plate, having finished his own meal.

"Measure them? You can use a ruler" Ushijima suggested as he wiped his mouth with a napkin.

"That's a good idea, Wakatoshi!" Romero celebrated, patting the aforementioned on the back.

"But does it have to be erect or how?" This time it was Sokolov's turn to ask, he was in the middle of the younger ones so he served as a wall to prevent Hoshiumi from taking the glass of jet milk.

"Both? Just to know" Kageyama replied as he hid behind the blond blocker, trying to prevent the albino from taking his drink.

"According to world statistics, Brazilians have bigger dicks than Asians," Ushijima mentioned while listening to the funny laugh of the only Brazilian on the team.

"Really? Then I'm prepared to deny that" Hoshiumi announced as he finally took Tobio's glass, sipping the contents while ignoring the outraged pouts of the jet.

"Do you think you are capable?" Sokolov asked amused as he looked at the head of the jet, who only looked with pity at his now empty glass.

"Of course" Hoshiumi answered automatically as he smiled excitedly.

Ignoring the dispute between the two minors, it was Toshiro's turn to intervene as he began to gather the used napkins to toss into the garbage container.

"So, whoever has the biggest dick than Romero wins and whoever has it smaller loses right?" Sokolov asked to see if everyone was in tune, he received several nods at his words.

"Exactly" Romero replied as he looked at his teammates, they were all smiling in their own way.

"Okay, let's do that after cleaning."

Following the captain's words, the trio in charge of cleaning began to collect the cutlery used for dinner, taking them to the sink to begin washing them, quickly between the three of them they finished washing, drying and storing said objects, which allowed them to retire to their rooms quietly, where they got to work; Literally.

_Height does not affect size._

_Hoshiumi is online._

_Romero is online._

_Kageyama is online._

_Sokolov is online._

_Ushijima is online._

_Toshiro is online._

_Hirugami is online._

**Hirugami** : So, let's start with Romero, how big is your dick?.

_Romero has sent two images._

**Romero** : Flaccid about 12cm and erect 16cm.

**Sokolov** : It only grew 4cm, huh? Veins give style

**Toshiro** : Someone is being presumptuous uh

_Sokolov has sent two images_

**Sokolov** : I have my bases, flaccid is 13 cm and erect about 18 cm

**Kageyama** : Doesn't it look thicker than Romero-san?

**Sokolov** : :)

**Hoshiumi** : it's a matter of perspective Tobio.

**Hirugami** : Anyone close to these two?

_Ushijima has sent two images_

**Ushijima** : 13cm flaccid and 17cm erect.

**Toshiro** : Japan is in second place

**Hoshiumi** : the dick of the nation

**Hirugami** : The Nation's Dick x2

**Kageyama** : The Nation's Dick x3

**Sokolov** : oh come on, did you give up yet?

_Hirugami has sent two images._

**Hirugami** : 11cm flaccid and 16.8cm erect.

**Hoshiumi** : do you know what?

**Hirugami** : If you ever say something about Sachirou, I will increase your training.

**Hoshiumi** : Well, do it, that won't change that Sachiro's dick is smaller :)

**Romero** : don't fight, who's next?

_Toshiro has sent two images._

**Toshiro** : flaccid about 14cm and erect about 18.5cm.

**Sokolov** : Japan does have some good dicks.

**Hirugami:** Russia is not bad either.

**Ushijima:** I feel disappointed in Brazil, according to the internet they had big dicks.

**Romero:** Sorry for not meeting your expectations, Wakatoshi :(

**Hoshiumi:** yeah, well show us your dick, kageyama.

_Kageyama has submitted two images._

**Kageyama:** flaccid about 12cm and erect 17cm

**Hoshiumi** : Nice dick, bro.

**Sokolov:** someone is quite talkative.

_Hoshiumi has submitted two images._

**Hoshiumi:** flaccid about 12cm and erect 20cm;)

**Kageyama:** It looks like your height went to your dick.

**Ushijima:** so it seems, with those 5cm I would get to measure 1.80 cm.

_Sokolov is offline._

_Hirugami is offline._

_Romero is offline._

_Toshiro is offline._

**Hoshiumi:** JDNDFJFJD YOU TWO BASTARD OVER 1.80CM

**Hoshiumi:** BETTER SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN TONIGHT.

**Ushijima:** that's impossible.

**Kageyama:** I agree, how could you have one eye open and one eye closed?

**Hoshiumi:** I'm not referring to that, I'm saying watch your back from me :)

**Kageyama** : It's not like you're heavy.

**Ushijima:** you are also small, it would not be difficult to carry you on your back.

**Hoshiumi:** I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M OUT

_Hoshiumi is offline._

**Ushijima:** don't you think he got mad?

**Kageyama:** I don't care, he drank my milk.

_Kageyama is offline_

**Ushijima:** Milk only makes you grow taller, it doesn't make your cock grow.

_Ushijima is offline._

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly had so much fun writing this, almost two thousand words about a dick discussion lol  
> I said it on twitter but I say it again, for me, the kids could be talking shit and they will continue to look so elegant and imposing, it's their thing!
> 
> I hope you liked it! comment what you think or something you imagine.
> 
> You can talk to me on twitter @Lco_T_amo where I basically talk about tobio


End file.
